Deep Fat Fryer: The inevitable consequence of an obese monk walking across a frozen lake.
Extractor Fan: An activity conducted by security at rock concerts.
oven: a group of nautical witches who have given up the sea.
Toast Rack: Patented but pointless device for keeping an accurate record of the number of toes an individual has. Only of real value to Pobbles.
Wine Rack: Medieval device for discouraging moaning.
cruet: what you must do to a boat or ship
condiment: a phrase that sounds like a compliment but is actually a veiled insult.
waste bin: an attempt by someone who is extremely hung over, to explain what happened last night