From time to time I write stories for my grandson in which I imagine the
conversations that might take place between his two Labradors, Packham
and India. I thought they might be a bit perplexed by all that is going
on at the moment, so I thought it would be interesting to hear what
they make of it all...
It was the middle of the night,
in the kitchen. Packham and India had
been asleep in their crate, despite having the run of the house. Packham had been having a really fun dream
which involved chasing squirrels, although, in his dream, he had just fallen
out of a tree, which made him wake up with a start. He was just really enjoying a spot of
vigorous scratching before settling down again, when he realised that India was
lying, eyes wide open, staring into the darkness.
“What’s up?” He asked of his young companion.
“I can’t sleep. I’m worried” India replied.
“Worried? What’s there to worry about?” Packham
scratched a particularly itchy spot just by his right shoulder.
“Oh, it’s
alright for you! You could sleep if the
house was falling down around us!” India
grumbled.
“Dogs need
their sleep” Packham stated, “it’s a known fact. Otherwise, we couldn’t do as much as we do in
the daytime”
“Do? What do you do, apart from eat and chase
balls?”
“Very important
stuff, all of that” Packham huffed, “someone’s got to do it! Anyway, what are you worried about?”
“Well, don’t
you think it’s strange that no-one’s gone anywhere for ages?” India sat up and looked hard at Packham, “Dad’s
not gone to work, Flynn’s not gone to school and there’s no-one coming here to
learn things off Mum. What’s going on?”
“Ah, that’s it,
is it?” Packham settled down by India, “I wondered about that too, then I heard
them talking and I know what it’s all about, now”
“You do? Well, go on then!”
Packham sat up and
adopted the wisest look he could manage.
India thought it made him look as if he was going to be sick, but
decided not to tell him.
“Well, it’s all
to do with a panda” Packham nodded, sagely.
“A panda? What’s a panda?”
“It’s a black
and white creature, quite big”
“What!” India
yelped, “we’ve got a field full of them, next door!”
“No, no”
Packham shook his head, furiously and a cloud of bits of dog biscuit and old
fur filled the crate. “They’re
cows! These are fluffier. Like bears”
“Flynn’s got
teddy bears” India mused.
“Yes, well
imagine one of them only black and white and about Dad’s size”
“Ooh,
scary!” India shuddered “What’s this got
to do with no-one going anywhere?”
“Well, there’s
this panda called Mick and he’s going around and making people poorly”
“Why would he
do that?” India wondered.
“I dunno”
Packham shrugged his shoulders, which isn’t easy when you’re a Labrador, “he
just does. So no-one’s going out in case
they meet this panda”
“Oh, right” India
didn’t sound convinced, “but what about when people come here. Why do they stand so far away? I mean, you can’t lick them, get them to
stroke you, play with you or anything!”
“That’s because
it’s invisible”
“What’s
invisible?”
“This panda”
Packham knew that he wasn’t absolutely sure what he was talking about, but he
certainly wasn’t going to let India know that.
“The panda’s
invisible, so that means that everyone has to stand far apart?”
“Yes” Packham
said, uncertainly, “because you might have the panda with you and not know
anything about it”
“Sounds weird
to me” India shook her head.
“I’m just
telling you what I’ve heard”
“So, what are
they doing about it? I mean, don’t get
me wrong, it’s great having everyone home and everything…”
“Of course it
is. I’ve never played so much in all my life!
I think it’s brilliant” Packham grinned.
“But we can’t
all stay in, all the time, just because of this invisible panda, can we?”
“Don’t see why
not!” Packham replied, stubbornly.
“Well, it’s
just not right, is it? Surely somebody’s
got to do something”
“I’ve heard…”
Packham looked around the room, as if he was about to tell a great secret and
didn’t want anyone else to hear it, “I’ve heard they’re coming up with a
vacuum!” He said, importantly.
“A vacuum? What, like Mum uses on the furniture? How’s that going to help?”
“Look, I’m just
a Labrador! They don’t tell me
everything! Maybe…” Packham frowned and
thought really hard, “maybe they’re going to get this HUGE vacuum and it will
suck up all the air and, sooner or later, they’re bound to suck up the
invisible panda, and that will be that!”
Packham was quite pleased with that answer and wagged his tail,
triumphantly.
“I’m not sure
you’ve got that right” India said, quietly as she rested her head between her
front paws.
“Huh!” Packham
replied, indignantly, “how would you know?
You’re just a pup! I’m the oldest
and the wisest dog around here”
“Yeah,
right!” India giggled, “well, I’m going
to sleep, whether there’s an invisible panda, or not”
“I WAS asleep
until you started going on” Packham grumbled.
“Night,
Packham” India said, sleepily.
“Humph” Packham
sulked.
“I said,
goodnight Packham” India persisted.
“Night India”
Packham responded, eventually.
India drifted
off to sleep, and dreamed of chasing after giant pandas carrying vacuum cleaners. Packham went back to chasing squirrels but
tried not to fall out of the tree, this time.
You can find a lot more of these stories about Packham and India in the new collection 'Animal Turns' available
in paperback and Kindle editions. All profits from the sale of this
book go to support the work of TURN Education C.I.C.. To find out more
about TURN (and the roles of Packham and India) please follow this link:
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