I don't know about you (well, obviously I don't, I'm not even sure who you are) but Amazon and their associates have the happy ...
Tuesday, 25 July 2017
If you have been following my Steak Pie saga (which can be found here and here) it may have occurred to you, as it has just to me, 'What the dickens was the waitress doing in the kitchen all that time after we ordered our mythical steak pies?' In the absence of any facts, I've done what anyone else would do in the circumstances, and made something up:
Waitress: "Oh my God, Oh my God, you've got to help me!"
Chef: "Calm down, whatever's the matter?"
W: "It's the couple who've just come in downstairs"
C (calmly stirring a pan of beans): "What about them?"
W: "They've only just been and gone and ordered the steak pie!"
C: "Not a problem, tell them we've sold out, that always does the trick"
W: "But, you don't understand. They came in a couple of weeks ago and that's what we told them then."
W: "So! When they asked again this time, I told them we had them!"
C: "What!! Why did you do that?"
W: "I don't know. I guess I panicked. It's on the Specials Board after all"
C: "I know it's on the Specials Board, but that's just because we don't want to be seen as somewhere that just does breakfasts. We want to be seen as a smart, sophisticated, small restaurant, offering a range of attractive options."
W: "With chips."
C: "Well, yes, alright, with chips. But you know what our clientele's like"
W (rummaging through the cupboards): "Surely we must have a steak pie somewhere"
C: "We've never had a steak pie and you know it."
W (wailing): "What am I going to do?"
C (grabs her by the arms and looks deep into her eyes): "There's nothing for it, you're going to have to take a deep breath, calm down, and go back down there and tell them...tell them...we're having problems with our suppliers! Yes, that'll do."
W: "Do you think that'll work?
C: "'Course it will. They're British, they won't make a fuss. You go and tell them that, I'll start cooking their breakfasts."