In the beginning...

From the First (and, as it turned out, only) Book of Ernest:

In the beginning was the void, which contained all that there was and all that there would ever be.  And from the void came a voice which sayeth "Erm!"  And all that there was, and all that there would ever be responded with a mighty and harmonious "ERM!"

Then from the void came the voice and it sayeth "Hang on" and all that there was, and all that there would ever be, hung on grimly.  Parts of it clenched.

Then came the voice again, saying "Wait a minute!"* and all that there was, and all that there would ever be, waited.

*  This gave rise to the Church of Perpetual Expectation, whose adherents are still waiting.  Their contention is that, as only the supreme being can define how long a 'minute' is, and no-one has told them to stop waiting, therefore the instruction still stands.  Members of the Church can be found in large numbers in most of the public services.  They are particularly evident in transport, such as railways and airports, and their churches are designed to resemble bus shelters.  The higher echelons of the Church aspire to become Doctor's Receptionists.