A Burtonian-English Phrase Book - Part 1

There has been a lot of talk in the media about the public school background of Nick and Dave and whether this means that they cannot relate to 'the ordinary man' (whoever he is). It therefore occurred to me that, in the event that they might take it upon themselves to visit the home of British Brewing (and Marmite) in Burton upon Trent, they might appreciate a useful phrase book to guide them when talking with some of the older denizens. For those who might be completely perplexed by what follows, I strongly suggest reading the Burtonian versions out loud.

Burtonian: E inner gunner do that izzy?

Translation: Surely he is not going to perform that function?

Azi brawtiz snap wivvim?
Does he have a packed lunch in his possession?

E inner rightin the yed.
(A diagnosis of mental incompetence)

E yain’t the full shillin’
(A more detailed diagnosis)

I dunner no
I have no knowledge

Ashud I no?
Why would you anticipate that I had such knowledge?

Eez binan gonan dunnit now
His actions may have some repercussions

Lux likeez losta bob anfounder tanner
He has a doleful expression

E dunner wont wirk
Employment does not appeal to him

Ah cudduv sobbed
I was nearly reduced to tears

E dunnerno witchway tuturn
He was at a loss

Eel meet izzelf cumin back
He may be overdoing things a little

Sheafinks sheez summat butsheez knot
She affects airs and graces

Ah wudner givim time of day

He is not held in high esteem

Wodger goan do thatfer?

Why did you perform that activity?

You can find Part 2  of this helpful primer by clicking on the link, and more from Phil Whiteland in e-book format - Steady Past Your Granny's