It is the time of a Civil
War.
This,
I should point out, is not a story about a Civil War.
So, if you’re
hoping for the whiff of cordite, gory battle scenes and heaving bosoms, you’re
likely to be disappointed.
Come to that,
you’re likely to be disappointed if you weren’t expecting all of those
things.
Of course,
this being a book rather than a video or a computer game, it’s all down to your
imagination anyway. So, if you want
heaving bosoms, you go ahead and imagine them.
While you’re doing that, we’ll get back to the story.
This
Civil War is between the North and the South.
Civil Wars are
always between the North and the South.
That’s just
the way it is.
Scientists
have noted that even in puddles no longer than a footprint, transparent
jelly-like things, invisible to the human eye, will gather in the North and
wave their fronds angrily at other transparent jelly-like things in the South
of the puddle. Years of painstaking
analysis of their chemical signals have revealed messages that are remarkably
like “If that shower of soft southern nancies think they own the place they’ve
got another think coming” and “Oh, just ignore them Justin, they’re nothing but
a bunch of black pudding waving proles”.
Which just goes to prove that:-
1. Black pudding is a far more universally recognised
delicacy than was first thought, and
2. Surprisingly, Justin is quite a common name amongst
jelly-like things.
Well, all right, perhaps not so surprisingly[1].
And then a dog comes along, drinks the puddle, urinates casually against a wall, and the whole process starts
Well, all right, perhaps not so surprisingly[1].
And then a dog comes along, drinks the puddle, urinates casually against a wall, and the whole process starts
again. Which tends to
annoy the scientists (and plays havoc with the dog).
This is not a
puddle (of anything), it’s a country.
You may think
you know which country it is, but you would be wrong.
It’s a country
that could be any time, any place, anywhere.
It happens to
be here (wherever that is), now (whenever that is) and just ……….there.
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Now read on Jambalya 1st Excerpt
[1] So,
that’s wiped all of the Justin’s out of the potential audience. Still, they were probably busy imagining
heaving bosoms and never noticed. Now,
who else can I upset?
I want to buy it now.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I like to hear! I may hold you to that ;-)
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